THE GIRL ON THE TRAIN – out October 7
Tagline: What you see can hurt you.
Certificate TBC
Directed by Tate Taylor
Cast Emily Blunt, Justin Theroux
Plot summary: Every day, divorcée Rachel Watson takes the train into work in New York and passes her old house. Her ex-husband still lives there with his new wife and child. To take her mind off that, she focuses on the house a couple of doors down and creates an imaginary life for the inhabitants. After seeing something horrible happen there, she wakes up with a hangover, bruises and no memory of the night. Then she turns on the telly and sees that the woman from the house is missing. Crikey.
Jamie’s low-down: I’ll be amazed if 99% of the people who go to watch this haven’t already read the book – it was everywhere! Well, it’s been given the Gone Girl treatment. Starring Emily Blunt and Justin Theroux, it looks like a hit, although I’m disappointed it’s been relocated to America. I hope it hasn’t lost the suburban, depressing charm of the book that we can all relate to. The trailer is all attractive women doing yoga and clinking Martini glasses, so I’m a bit worried – but I’m still going to be at the front of the ticket queue.
MISS PEREGRINE’S HOME FOR PECULIAR CHILDREN- out September 30
Tagline: Stay peculiar.
Certificate TBC
Directed by Tim Burton
Cast: Eva Green, Samuel L Jackson
Plot summary: A seemingly normal boy called Jacob discovers a magical place known as Miss Peregrine’s Home For Peculiar Children and as he gets to know the residents, danger and peril come to bite him on the bum. It looks as though all is lost, until Jacob discovers a few peculiarities of his own…
Excitement level: 5/5
Jamie’s low-down: This looks incredible. Based on the trilogy of books by Ransom Riggs, the studio has cleverly teamed up screenwriter Jane Goldman with legendary director Tim Burton to bring this strange world to life. The combination seems to have worked, with Burton reining in some of the kookiness and replacing it with a Harry Potter-esque feel. This could be the Hogwarts replacement we’ve been waiting for!
INFERNO – out October 14
Tagline: Every clue will take him deeper.
Certificate 12A
Directed by Ron Howard
Cast Tom Hanks, Felicity Jones, Ben Foster
Plot summary: You know the drill. Tom Hanks reunites with director Ron Howard in this blockbuster based on one of the books in Dan Brown’s huge-selling Robert Langdon series. In Inferno we find Robert (Hanks) on a trail of clues leading to Dante himself. Along with Dr Sienna Brooks (Jones), Langdon races across Europe to try and stop a mad man
with a virus who has dastardly plans for the human race.
Excitement level: 4/5
Jamie’s low-down: I blooming love these films, slightly naff as they are. I love Hanks’ awful mullet and his slightly aged portrayal of Langdon as a reluctant Indiana Jones in slacks. This time they’ve got Felicity Jones in on the action, which can only be a good thing – with the imminent Rogue One, is there anyone hotter than her right now? The locations will be beautiful, the puzzles complex and the plot faintly ridiculous. This won’t be too taxing and doesn’t ask any existential questions, but it’s Hanks and Howard, so who cares?
STORKS- out October 14
Tagline: Find your flock.
Certificate: U
Directed by Nicholas Stoller, Doug Sweetland
Cast: Andy Samberg, Jennifer Aniston, Ty Burrell
Plot summary: We all know storks deliver babies, right? Well they did, until the Amazon Prime-style Cornerstore.com re-appropriates the stork population to deliver packages instead. Junior, the company’s top delivery stork, is about to be promoted when he accidentally activates the Baby Making Machine (I’ve got one of those). Desperate to deliver the unexpected girl that arrives before his boss finds out, he embarks on a road (well, sky) trip full of adventure.
Excitement level: 3/5
Jamie’s low-down: A clever twist on what could have been a mundane topic. Storks looks like the perfect way to while away an autumn afternoon.
THE GIRL WITH ALL THE GIFTS- out September 23
Tagline: Our greatest threat is our only hope.
Certificate 15
Directed by Colm McCarthy
Cast: Gemma Arterton, Glenn Close, Paddy Considine
Plot summary Most of humanity succumbs to a disease, becoming cannibalistic zombies. The few uninfected humans try to find a cure and study children who can resist the desire to kill. But one scientist cracks when she’s asked to euthanise the children and risk disaster.
Excitement level: 4/5
Jamie’s low-down Fans of Children of Men will be salivating over this. It looks great and unlike anything else out this month.
FREE STATE OF JONES – out September 30
Tagline: Based on the incredible true story.
Certificate 15
Directed by Gary Ross
Cast Matthew McConaughey, Gugu Mbatha-Raw, Mahershala Ali
Plot summary: This film tells the story of Newt Knight, a farmer who leads a rebellion against the Confederacy during the Civil War. Aligning other farmers, slaves and folk – he launched an uprising that created a, yup, Free State of Jones. This is the true story of a compelling and controversial figure in America’s history.
Excitement level: 3/5
Jamie’s low-down: I’m not massively clued-up on the Civil War, so the true story element doesn’t mean much to me (nor, I would wager, many Brits). I do, however, worship at the church of McConaughey and do love a good rebel tale, so will definitely chomp my popcorn through what could be the new Dances With Wolves.
DEEPWATER HORIZON- out September 30
Tagline: Inspired by a true story of real-life heroes.
Certificate TBC
Directed by Peter Berg
Cast Mark Wahlberg, Dylan O’Brien, Kate Hudson
Plot summary: Another of this month’s true story movies takes us back six years, and places us on the offshore drilling rig Deepwater Horizon, which exploded during April 2010 and created the worst oil spill in US history. Filmed
in Louisiana last year, it tells the tragic story of the 11 people that died and the heroes that stopped that figure becoming far larger.
Excitement level: 3/5
Jamie’s low-down: You’d be satisfied with this being a proper, good old-fashioned disaster movie in the same vein as The Day After Tomorrow or The Towering Inferno, but add to that the horrific fact that it all actually happened (although this is clearly a dramatisation) and you hopefully have something very powerful indeed. Wahlberg is to me, hit and miss. Hopefully this is A Perfect Storm Wahlberg rather than Ted 2 Wahlberg – but with Kurt Russell, Kate Hudson and John Malkovich around him, I’m hoping for the best. The action sequences look worthy of Roland Emmerich, which further raises my hopes.
THE MAGNIFICENT SEVEN – out September 23
Tagline: Justice has a number.
Certificate 12A
Directed by Antoine Fuqua
Cast Denzel Washington, Chris Pratt, Ethan Hawke
Plot summary: A modern vision of a classic story. The town of Rose Creek is under the control of baddie Bartholomew Bogue, so the people seek protection from seven outlaws. As the inevitable showdown looms, the heroic mercenaries find themselves fighting for more than money. Cowboys have never looked so good.
Excitement level: 2/5
Jamie’s low-down: I’m going to file this one under “Why bother?” Like Ben-Hur last month, you have to wonder who in their right mind takes a pretty much perfect movie and decides to remake it simply for the sake of it. Admittedly Chris Pratt, Denzel Washington and Ethan Hawke are all top drawer and will no doubt bring plenty to the table – but I’m going to take some convincing.
BLAIR WITCH – Out now
Tagline: There’s something evil hiding in the woods.
Certificate: 15
Directed by Adam Wingard
Cast Corbin Reid, Wes Robinson, Valorie Curry
Plot summary: Some years after the event, James Donahue discovers
a video clip of his sister’s experience in the demonic woods of the Blair Witch. He goes on the hunt with a bunch of friends to try to save her, or at least find out what happened. Needless to say, it all goes horribly wrong.
Excitement level: 5/5
Jamie’s low-down: The Blair Witch Project (now 17 years old!) changed horror movies forever. Few films can boast of creating their own genre, but TBWP did just that, with its “found footage” format and the accompanying marketing campaign that left people thinking the film was real. This is the long-awaited follow-up (we don’t talk about the awful sequel from 2000 any more). Filmed in complete secrecy, it adopts a similar format and again manages to rewrite the horror rulebook. Take my money now!
ONES TO WATCH FROM YOUR SOFA
Me Before You (12A)
Available on DVD: October 10
Quirky Louisa (Emilia Clarke) becomes a carer for Will (Sam Claflin), a wealthy young banker who wants to be euthanised after a motorbike accident leaves him paralysed. The two form an unlikely bond, as Louisa tries to show him that life is worth living.
Popcorn Rating: 3/5
The Nice Guys (15)
Available on DVD: September 26
Harking back to a bygone era of buddy comedies, The Nice Guys is set in 1970s LA
and follows hapless private eye Holland (Ryan Gosling) and hired enforcer Jackson (Russell Crowe) as they attempt to track down a young woman.
Popcorn Rating: 5/5
Whiskey Tango Foxtrot (15)
Available on DVD: September 19
Cable news producer Kim Barker leaves her comfortable American lifestyle and heads to war-torn Afghanistan in the hope of becoming a successful correspondent. Starring Tina Fey, and Hollywood’s favourite leading lady, Margot Robbie
Popcorn Rating: 4/5
The Walking Dead: Season 6
Available on DVD: September 26
After spending weeks in a coma, Rick Grimes wakes up alone in a world ravaged by zombies. In this latest series, Rick and his companions discover more survivor colonies – but is all as it seems? Watch this with the lights on!
Popcorn Rating: 5/5
NCIS: Los Angeles: Season 7
Available on DVD: September 19
A spin-off of the very successful NCIS TV franchise. Agents G Callen (Chris O’Donnell) and Sam Hanna (LL Cool J) take on undercover work to crack cases in the criminal underbelly of LA. This is classic American cop drama.
Popcorn Rating: 3/5
Marvel’s Luke Cage
Available on Netflix: September 30
Marvel’s latest follows Luke Cage (Mike Colter), who is left with super-strength and unbreakable skin after an experiment was conducted on him in prison. After trying to rebuild his life, he is soon pulled from the shadows and forced to confront his past.
Popcorn Rating: 4/5